Ring in the new year with a bang as you enter to win a new Nanosat Nano Premium SE receiver.

Contest entry is simple: just post a message onto this tread with a funniest joke you know and automatically enter a draw to win. Winning names will be drawn on January 1, 2012.

The contest giveaway includes your chance to win a new Nanosat Nano Premium receiver, 5 runners up will receive an upgrade to Power VIP status. Contest entry closes new years eve. Good luck to all our members.

We would like to thank all of our moderators and members for another great year, and wish you all a wonderful holiday season and health and happiness in the new year. Happy Holidays from all of us at FTA FIRE!

Good luck!

Attached Images

nanosat-nano-premium-special-edition.jpg (112.4 KB, 155 views)

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Please don't PM me with fta related questions, ask them in open forums so others can benefit from them too.

They always ask at the doctor's reception why you are there, and you have to answer in front of others what's wrong and sometimes it is embarrassing.

There's nothing worse than a Doctor's Receptionist who insists you tell her what is wrong with you, in a room full of other patients. I know most of us have experienced this, and I love the way this old guy handled it.

A 75-year-old man walked into a crowded waiting room and approached the desk.
The Receptionist said, 'Yes sir, what are you seeing the Doctor for today?'

'There's something wrong with my dick', he replied.

The receptionist became irritated and said, 'You shouldn't come into a crowded waiting room and say things like that. '

'Why not, you asked me what was wrong and I told you,' he said..

The Receptionist replied; 'Now you've caused some embarrassment in this room full of people. You should have said there is something wrong with your ear or something and discussed the problem further with the Doctor in private.'

The man replied, 'You shouldn't ask people questions in a roomful of strangers if the answer could embarrass anyone. The man walked out, waited several minutes, and then re-entered..

The Receptionist smiled smugly and asked, 'Yes??'

'There's something wrong with my ear,' he stated.

The Receptionist nodded approvingly and smiled, knowing he had taken her advice. 'And what is wrong with your ear, Sir?'

'I can't piss out of it,' he replied.

The waiting room erupted in laughter.

Mess with seniors and you're going to lose!

Life is short. Forgive quickly, love deeply, laugh loudly and never forget the things that make you smile.

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All posts are for informational and educational purposes only.

Whats it called when your woman lets you screw anything your heart desires? No holes barred.

Cmon we need more than 2 entrys.......

other wise, it's looking good for u 2 it's a 50/50 chance to win!!!

I believe you can enter once a day


We need more jokes,,,,it's easy to play, just google up some jokes and copy and paste it.



Good luck!

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A short video with some young girls and a dog

Attached Files

Dog Humping Bikini Girl -- Hell TV.rar (7.77 MB, 18 views)

A little boy and his grandfather are raking leaves in the yard. The little boy sees an earthworm trying to get back into its hole. He says, "Grandpa, I bet I can put that worm back in that hole." The grandfather replies, "I'll bet you five dollars you can't. It's too wiggly and limp to put back in that little hole."

The little boy runs into the house and comes back out with a can of hair spray. He sprays the worm until it is straight and stiff as a board. The boy then proceeds to put the worm back into the hole. The grandfather hands the little boy five dollars, grabs the hair spray and runs into the house.

Thirty minutes later the grandfather comes back out and hands the boy another five dollars. The little boy says, "Grandpa, you already gave me five dollars." The grandfather replies, "I know. That's from your Grandma."

i have a really good one but tryn to figure out how to drag it over dangit

Guy getting punched for the wrong reason

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MAN OF FAITH

A guy is driving out in the middle of nowhere, very lost. Finally he spots 2 houses so he goes up to the first house and looks in the door way. He sees an old lady yanking on her boobs and an old man jerking off. He is so freaked out that he goes to the next house and says "What's up with your neighbors?" and the owner of the house says "Oh that's the Robinson's, they're both deaf. She's telling him to go milk the cow and he's telling her to go screw herself!"

A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a case of beer, any kind except Schlitz. The bartender says, "What's wrong with Schlitz, don't you like it? The man says, "I hate that shit". Last night I drank a whole case of Schlitz and blew chunks. The bartender says, "You drink a case of any beer you're going to blow chunks". You don't understand said the man, Chunks is my dog.

This retarded kid is starting his first day of school. He walks down to the bus stop and waits for the bus to take him to school. The bus eventually drives up and opens the door. "Hello Mr Schoolbus Driver" he says in a slurred voice. Then the bus door closes and drives off without picking him up. He went back home, told his parents and figured he would try again.

The next morning, he stood at the bus stop, the bus came around and opened the door. In a slurred voice the boy says ,"Hello Mr Busdriver!" To which the bus driver closed the door and drove off.

The boy went back to his parents and told them, to which they were majorly pissed off. The next morning, they came down with the boy to the bus stop to talk to the driver. The bus came past and the door opened. The father of the boy asks, "My boy needs to go to school each morning, but you keep closing the door and driving off, how come?". The bus driver says in a slurred voice, "He keeps making fun of me!"